i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
