I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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