so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
as a side note pls kill me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
