Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
