PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
