I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
