he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sarcasm needs its own font
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
