You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
