So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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