Duck Duck Cougar?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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