The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize