just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
