I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize