You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
