I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
