If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
