Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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