Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
