you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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