What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
