Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
