Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
