You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
