I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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