Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
