remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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