I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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