I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
