Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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