that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
