If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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