I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
