Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
