ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
