My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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