Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She is in my trunk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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