My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
