I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
