Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
