I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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