You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
