Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
As shirtless as possible
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
