he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
