I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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