wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize