is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
