dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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