just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
