This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
