Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
