You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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