I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
