im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She needs sedatives and a leash
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
