as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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