you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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