Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
