my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
