at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
