Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
