You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
