She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
pray to the hookup gods
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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