Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
