I have demons in me.
Buhtt sex?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Im part way to drunk.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize