I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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