hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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