so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
