How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
