Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
