Little spoons don't ask big questions
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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